Alangate

I’ve been mulling over Alangate for the better part of last week. Not good. Nope. I was miserable writing my book and I feel miserable after having released it. I know I shouldn’t. I’m a bestselling author by any standard. NYT or Amazon, I’m on that list. Without a hard copy, publishing company, marketing team or a single dollar spent on ads. Just my balls, my pen and my words.

Objectively, most of this is my own fault. I can say I’m too ambitious and that other people lack my standards, they simply don’t understand my vision. If I wanted to blow smoke up my ass, that’s what I say, and I do that from time to time. Or I can say that I’m easily distracted and a lazy piece of shit. I tell myself that too, but more of the latter than the former. You should hear my self-talk. If you think I’m hard on others then you should read transcript of my thoughts for a day. I know a guy at Google – maybe we can set that up.

But nothing could have prepared me for this shit. Thanks to the book and the constant barrage of extraneous shit that comes with it, I’ve lost sleep, time, good times and the semblance of a normal life. Now with Alangate, I’ve lost hope, trust, foreword, a ton of money and a good friend.¹

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the last week, I’m talking about this: “Alan Aragon turns out to be a serial sexual harasser“.

The title says it all and the thread eradicates any doubts. So does the damning accounts I’ve collected on my own. And since I’ve never used the phrase guilty as sin, I’ll do it now, because that’s what Alan Aragon is. He is not guilty of groping and harassing a few girls. He’s that too, but he’s also a very bad human being. I’m not going to harp on exactly what he’s done and if you want details, follow the links.

It would have been different if Alan was just a single guy who went a little too far, once, on that particular conference. I could see him being publicaly scolded, issuing a real apology, laying low for a while, etc. Then after a few weeks or months, returning to the scene as a better man with a tarnished but intact reputation.

Ain’t no coming back from this shit. Guy’s in his late 40’s. Married with children, a serial molester and he’s showing no remorse. He made a few inept attempts and then deleted his social media.

Kicking someone who’s already down, out, and done for? Not my style. I leave the low-hanging fruit for those who get their kicks from boilerplate facebook “im shocked/offended/horrified”-posts.

But that’s that fake shit that I don’t like, as the great Chief Keef once said. Those that know me, know I like to pluck the good stuff. The forbidden fruit that nobody dares to touch. It’s an impulse, maybe a sickness, and quite possibly an undefined illness that strikes a few unfortunate souls every once in a while. And not to brag, but I’ve picked a basket full of Golden Delicious to keep me fat and happy all year. And when it’s harvest time, I’ll throw a feast.

But today, I have to upset the applecart and root out a few bad apples that must have fallen out out place. Throw that shit out lest they spoil our compote completely. It’s already starting to smell of rot and filth. But first, an elegy for the departed.

Alan Aragon, R.I.P.

Even though we never met, Alan Aragon was my friend. Well, as close of a friend you can have in this business. I mean, he reviewed the research and wrote the foreword to The Leangains Method for fuck’s sake. When I was a nobody with strange ideas and a weird eating habit, he played a role in legitimizing intermittent fasting, lending credibility to my non-conformist ways.

Below is a quote from the first chapter of The Leangains Method, about ’07 when I made my big push for nutritional enlightenment and took on the bros on bodybuilding dot com.

Alan had earned his moderator status by establishing himself as the go-to guy for bullshit, a balancing force in the minefield of ignorance. When people couldn’t tell right from wrong, Alan was called in to settle the matter, and he executed with fact, humor, and charm. And he proved me right on every point.

Go ahead and show them that link when they say I didn’t come up with intermittent fasting.²

Anyway, Alan did a lot more for me. He wrote articles for this site, took time for interesting e-mail exchanges, and remained supportive ’till the very end. When hostility and hatred got the best of me back in ’12 or ’13, he was quick to forgive and forget when I asked for it.³

His support never faded, nor did mine, and I’ve been subscribed to Alan Aragon’s Research Review since the first issue in ’08. That’s $1200 worth of research reviews and a quarter tops read. But I kept my subscription up as a token of appreciation. 3 weeks from now, I would finally get the chance to show it in person; at the Sports Summit in Amsterdam.

We had both signed up as speakers at the event. One of my topics even involved him to some extent. I was nervous and excited at the same time. But I had everything prepared and had waited years for this moment. Having just launched a book, the timing would have been perfect.

And then it happened. Within 24 hours, my vision evaporated and what I foresaw as great timing turned into the exact opposite. What Alan has done nullifies everything and his career is effectively over. If it isn’t, well, then I’ll be shocked once more.

I gave a brief statement early. After much deliberation, procrastination, and introspection, I’m ready to make this one. It’ll be much shorter, to the point and without excess detail. But the message remains and I hope it’s clear enough.⁴

#000000

Needless to say, I’ve been conflicted. In fact, it’s the first time I’ve ever been shocked about something, anything, in this industry. Mark Twain said everyone is a moon, with a dark side they never show to anybody. That ain’t exactly true with Alan, but I never caught a glimpse of it. Not once. In fact, I envied Alan Aragon for his smart, tempered and cool online exterior. See, I made the mistake of confusing it for his real one.

I said to myself, maybe you should try to be less of yourself and more like Alan. Because where I was brash, impulsive and occasionally emotional in debates and exchange, he was the opposite. I saw him as a perfect role model for those with the right attributes; that is, anyone but me because I’m too emotionally involved in all things training and diet, and will always say whatever’s on my mind to whomever I disagree with. I can’t fake it and wear my flaws, merits, and beliefs on my sleeves.

He didn’t. And in the back of my mind, there occasionally lingered a fantasy about what he was hiding. It never found any ground to stand on and came and went within the blink of an eye.⁵

This couldn’t have come at a worse time. I could talk about the consequences for evidence-based fitness and nutrition. This shit we do? Alan Aragon was supposed to represent us on Joe Rogan’s podcast. Finally, I thought, someone that speaks sense about nutrition and knows hows to conduct himself. The first on Joe’s show as far as I’m concerned.⁶ I was actually excited for this and that’s rare. Well, it sure as shit ain’t happening now.

Or I could talk about what this means for me personally. For example…

• The fact that the hard copy of The Leangains Method is indefinitely delayed.
• The fact that parts of the current edition will need to be rewritten; the foreword removed, the IIFYM supplement too, cover changed, etc. A whole bunch of other shit too that I really don’t have time, energy or motivation for right now. So thanks for the gesture, Alan, but fuck you, Alan.
• The fact that he had me so utterly fooled. Hell, I signed up to speak in Amsterdam just to meet him, more or less. It wasn’t the only reason, but let’s put it this way. If he wasn’t going to be there, I wouldn’t have signed up. ⁷
• The fact that half my material for said seminar is now gone and I need to come up with something else ASAP. Why? Because Alan played a small but poignant role in one of the topics and without him there, it won’t do. Which is truly a shame in more ways than one.

Woe is me, right? Tell you what, woe is me, and this is the craziest thing to ever happen to me since ’06.⁸ Not the incidence in isolation. No. The fact that it was him, that it was known, and that no one gave a shit.

Enablers

Before Alangate, I had the utmost respect for the man. What I have now is indescribable. I won’t degrade it with predictable tropes like those thrown around by his peers in Facebook posts.⁹

Nor will I sully this page and time period of my life by manifesting them in letters, phrases, and insults. Men preying on women and alcoholism is a particularly deadly sin in my book and I’m a hard judge. I grew up with alcoholism.

A family member is a fully functional alcoholic and I know more than anyone what it’s like. I know it’ll kill her and I’m at peace with the notion. It took some time, of course, and there were certainly struggles. But you can’t save everyone and she’s only hurting herself. I find some consolation knowing that she won’t be dragging others down with her. Or molest, grope or violate someone without mutual consent. And when the call comes, I won’t be crying, for there are no tears left to shed. I’m at peace with the notion.

But I’m not at peace with this here, because Alangate could have been prevented by those who saw it coming. You’re out there and some of you have even asked the community to forgive your weak and inept attempts at preventing this disaster. But we both know you didn’t do shit and what you’re writing on Facebook is self-flattery at its finest. Poor you. Guess you were too busy writing papers and getting shoutouts from Alan to do something real. You are a disgrace. Shame on you. Shame.

Alan’s a despicable man. And the rest of you, a bunch of limp-dicked cowards. You know who you are. You worked side by side for years. Published papers with him. Books, even. Blowing smoke up his ass like it was Christmas every day. Every opportunity, every second. Until that fateful moment when it all came to light. This has been going on for years.

So shove your moral high-grounding and boilerplate ‘how horrible’- responses up the ass where you pulled them from. Consider this one, mine. I will be delighted to give you a more detailed flogging if you’re feeling frisky because there’s more to this story.

The Type

This is a thought-nugget to roll around in your head, sip with your synapses and taste with your frontal lobe. It’s a message to women in particular. There are exceptions to every rule, and as far as Alan is concerned, I would never have pegged him as the type.

What type, you wonder? The type of low-life that preys on women by means of manipulation and power. I spent many years in the modeling industry and in that setting, came to know these guys like the back of my hand. There, the rule went that if a fashion photographer wasn’t gay, he was a type. It was more like a law of physics than a rule because rules break every day. But I’ve yet to see someone take flight, freeze time or morph into water.

Want to know a secret? I’m a simple man and I speak for most of us. Unless you’re gay, you’re simply not interested in female friendship, period. This is not a point of debate so if you disagree, take your outrage somewhere else. I don’t give a shit. I give real advice and this is for those smart enough to listen.

If you ever encounter a straight man who spends a disproportionate amount of time on women’s issues and concerns, be wary. Alan Aragon was a moderator for at least one large female-only group on Facebook. He gained their trust, burrowed in, and made women feel important. That’s what they do. Here, on the internet.

Methods differ but the outcome is the same. There’s plenty of case studies if you know the industry. I know a scumbag who doesn’t even hide the fact. Openly misogynist, deviant, and writes books about women’s issues. Can’t do it himself, unfortunately – gotta ride the coattails of others these days. Funny. I wonder if he talks about his ex too.

But most of all, I wonder, will there ever be a second edition of the book where he documented his sexcapades with sex workers, then took it down and blamed the whole thing on mental illness? It always befuddled me why Alan and he stayed friends. Now I know.

They are both despicable types that cater to women for one purpose only. And when they’re found out, they blame it on alcoholism, mental illness or some condition they have no control over. It’s not their fault – it’s the disease. Sure, right. I know enough about addiction and people to know that it’s bullshit.

They can’t even keep the charade up for a day and there is neither regret nor remorse in their futile attempts at playing a human. That’s because they’re psychopaths and they don’t practice the skill of apologizing enough to mimic it with real emotion. They usually never have to.

Forget everything you think you know about psychopaths by the way. To keep them away, remember lessons learned from stories like these. I’m speaking as someone who knows a self-confessed psychopath. This person is a psychiatrist. You’d never guess. Never.  Not every psychopath abuses women. But I suspect there’s a hint of psychopathology in every type that nestles into female communities, adopts their language, ideals, and mannerisms to perfection.

Only to strike when you let your guard down. And you will, because for the first time, here’s a man that seems interested in what you’re saying and listens to your concerns with great interest. Guys, when did you last meet a woman who listened to your car-talk, FortNite shit or whatever guys do these days? That’s right, never. And we men don’t care about your stuff either, ladies.¹¹

Guess why I don’t write articles about women’s fitness? Many have asked and the answer is I don’t, because I write whatever the fuck I want to write. Guess what my previous girlfriends would tell you about how I treated them? Never laid hands, called them a bad word, and when one asked me to not shout because I did once¹², I listened and never did it again. When my ex-disappeared for 6 months and then announced that she was engaged and no longer with me in the Facebook Group I put together, I was shocked, pissed and depressed for a while – but I never called her out, I stood silent and took it.¹³ But I don’t go around advertising the fact that I’m a gentleman. Many do. Ain’t what real gentlemen do though.

So just remember that when I say that I give zero fucks about the #me-too bandwagon, it’s coming from a gentleman with no skeletons in the closet. This is not white-knighting. I’m not here to take a stand for women’s rights, I simply hate the fake and the inauthentic bullshit I see all the time in this piece of shit industry. With Alan gone, I trust no one. Then again, I never needed to either. Done pretty good without a circle jerk. And I will keep on doing good. This is just a roadblock.

So ladies, to sum it up: unless your trainer is Richard Simmons, be aware of men who cater, cajole and indulge females more than usual. I’m a guy, I have faults, I am flawed, but I’m not a deviant. But I’ve seen enough to recognize those who might be. Almost. But that’s better than nothing.

1. And a good bit of self-respect for giving a shit; not because of the fact, but because I have responsibilities to fulfill and promises to uphold. To all my Patrons and The Leangains Method readers, I’m sorry.
2. I didn’t “come up with intermittent fasting” – it’s really mind-boggling to me that some people say that in an attempt to insult and degrade what I’ve done. Are people really that fucking stupid? Of course, I didn’t come up with intermittent fasting. I just made it what it is today. Even the most prominent researchers in the field recognize that fact and have told me so in person.
3. To make a short story shorter, Alan pissed me off by remaining neutral when I got it in with a dirtbag who used to be our mutual friend. Ironically because this POS used to snipe my FB with insults, some directed towards women, and back then I saw that as bad publicity because I was trying to play Mr Mainstream for a while. The result? I failed miserably and left the industry for 2 years.
4. It took some practice but I’ve leveled up my constraint. A little bit, it’s a work in progress. But “When in doubt, leave out” – that’s my motto. These days.
5. I could name a few social media stars who are the same. Shitbags in real life, ‘role models’ on the gram. Haven’t met many, so you do the math.
6. I like Joe Rogan and I like his podcast. Problem is he’s easily impressed by big words and gullible enough to buy all the bullshit thrown his way.
7. Simply because I’m tired, overworked and could use a break. Or at least dispense my energy better.
8. ’06 was when I realized how utterly incompetent and useless most people in this business are. Things haven’t changed. Read the book.
9. What’s the problem, buddy? Too close to home for an article? Afraid to lose points at the editorial board, NCSA or some other politicking scheme that Alan helped you secure?
10. Something for your next study Schoenfeld? Or will you be making one more non-study again?
11. There’s gonna be a bunch of guys saying I’m wrong. Stay the fuck away from those guys.
12. Because she threw a fucking book at me.
13. This was during the bad period and while I wasn’t exactly a good boyfriend, I’d have appreciated an official break up first.